NFL Week 16 Late Entry

The red-headed step-child of this blog picks:

NO @ ATL -2

Under 49.5 NO @ ATL

Over 37 MIN @ PHI

NFL Week 16

It's the second to last week of the 2010-11 NFL season, so it's time to go on a roll and make up for some recent, sub-par weeks. Without further ado, here are our picks:

billy rubin: I'm in Paris and I'm about to go look at some Frenchies walk around being all French and stuff, so I'm a little out of the NFL loop, but here are the games I like the most this week:

BAL -3.5 vs. CLE: The Browns are pretty much a one trick pony, and while they're not an elite defense anymore, the Ravens are good against the run and against RBs in the passing game. They should be able to contain Hillis, if not shut him down completely. Baltimore's offense is far from the juggernaut people expected, and Cleveland has proven somewhat effective at preventing opposing WRs from having big games, so this will likely be the Ray Rice show, hopefully resulting in a win of four points or more.

HOU -2.5 @ DEN: I'm not 100% sure anybody in this game will care about the outcome, and it's tough to go against Jesus' own flesh and blood (Tim Tebow) the day after his pagan birthday celebration, but I just can't see Houston winning by less than four in this game, unless there's standing water, because Tim Tebow can walk on water.

SD -8 @ CIN: There's a good chance that the Bengals literally do not show up for this game. I'd certainly want to stay home and play with my Christmas gifts and eat leftovers if I were them. If they do decide to show up, they will be able to enjoy Rivers and company running up and down the field scoring points at will, while Carson Palmer and his noodle arm will enjoy being shut down on offense.

For what it's worth, I also really like the overs in New England @ Buffalo (44.5) and Jacksonville @ Washington (46), and I'd love to play the Niners +2.5 @ St. Louis, but there's this big dumb hall of famer that pretty much erases any confidence I have in that line.

known associate:
useful stat that some handicapping geek dug out: from 1981-2000, home dogs of 2+ points covered 52% of the time during weeks 1-14. not bad but not enough to turn a profit when factoring in the vig (54% is the magic # for cappers). BUT during the last 3 weeks of the season, that number goes up to 61%. do what you will with that but either way, late regular season betting in the NFL is crazy time so i'd advise tempering the amount of your wagers. while some teams are fighting for the playoffs or byes, others are looking towards the offseason or resting starters.

BAL -3.5 @ cle
- did i say some shit about home dogs of 2+ points? i forget. also, peyton hillis (aka the browns offense) is out.
det @ mia UNDER 41.5
- putting my faith in the dolphin defense. and offense.
DEN +2.5 vs hou
- the broncos' coach kinda reminds me of the (not so) big (but very) dumb dude on the niners sideline but the texans look like they've flat out just quit playing.

i also like the new york football giants to bounce back in green bay but that home dog stat kept it from being one of my top 3 plays. although, it may be my biggest money play today if i win a few of the 10am games or have a few more brews during that time. that nyg pass rush should prove to be too much for a certain recently concussed quarterback and the packer o-line.

College Bowl Plays

i have time to do some college football capping during this holiday break so i might as well try and win some cash. tail if you wish. i actually started last night with the poinsetta bowl and i'll include it for tracking, since i won and all. i'm guessing i'll have a play for about 3/4 of the bowl games. billy rubin and not your type may or may not post plays of their own.



the mythical national championship game (also known as the BCS National Championship) isn't until january 10th. at this point, i can't decide between tits or ass.

in the meantime, known associate will be playing these:

12/23
poinsettia bowl: san diego state vs navy
- SAN DIEGO STATE -3 for 1 unit
result: win. sdsu 35 navy 14

12/24
hawaii bowl: hawaii vs tulsa
- OVER 73.5 for 1 unit
result: win. tulsa 62 hawaii 35
-parlay HAWAII -9/OVER 73 for 0.5 unit to win 1 unit
result: loss.

12/26
little caeser’s bowl: FIU vs toledo
- UNDER 59 for 1 unit
both teams rely on their running game and there's a freshman qb on one side. the clock will be ticking.
result: loss. FIU 34 toledo 32
- UNDER 29.5 first half for 2 units
toledo hasnt been to a bowl in 5 years and this is the first ever bowl for FIU so it may take a while for each team to settle down.
result: win. toledo 21 FIU 7

12/28
champs sports bowl: nc state vs west virginia
- OVER 49 for 1 unit

insight bowl: missouri vs iowa
- MISSOURI -3 for 2 units
- tease nc state-west virginia OVER 42.5/MISSOURI +4 for 1 unit
result: loss, loss and loss.
damn it. missouri was a bad beat but no excuses. a loss is a loss is a loss.


not that i like nc state to win or anything.

12/29
military bowl: east carolina vs maryland
- EAST CAROLINA +7.5 for 1 unit
result: loss. maryland 51 ecu 20.
early turnovers and penalties didnt help ecu. i'm pretty good fade material right now so...

alamo bowl: oklahoma st vs arizona
- OKLAHOMA ST -4 for 3 units
result: win. ok st 36 zona 10.
#81 has a little bit of last years #1 in him. no homo.
- parlay OK ST -4/OVER 68 for 0.5 unit to win 1.2 units.
result: loss. the pac-10 is weaksauce (with the exceptions of oregon and stanford).


oh and also, "also" is a funny looking word.

12/30
armed forces bowl: army vs smu
- SMU -7 for 1 unit
redemption from "the death penalty" continues in the mustangs home stadium.
result: loss. army 16 smu 14.
the mustangs outgained army by 200 yards but 3 first half turnovers (one returned for a td) fucked it all up.

pinstripe bowl: kansas st vs syracuse
- UNDER 24 1st half for 1 unit
result: loss. wildcats 14 orange 14
- SYRACUSE pk 2nd half for 0.5 unit
result: win. orange 22 wildcats 20

music city bowl: tennessee vs north carolina
- UNDER 24.5 1st half for 1 unit
result: loss. tarheels 17 vols 14.
done in by a couple late TDs.

holiday bowl: washington vs nebraska
- UW +14 for 0.5 unit
- parlay UW +14/UNDER 27 1st half for 0.5 unit to win 1 unit
result: win and win. huskies 19 huskers 7. (huskies 10 huskers 7 at the half.)
if any team drafts jake locker over cam newton, it better not be the 49ers.

12/31
meineke bowl: clemson vs south florida
- parlay USF +7/UNDER 20.5 1st half for 0.5 unit to win 1 unit
result: loss. hit on USF, lost on the under, again.


brett favre once pulled an oden on one of these breezys.

liberty bowl: central florida vs georgia
- UCF +7 for 2 units
result: win. ucf 10 georgia 6
despite the latest greatest.

chick-fil-a bowl: florida state vs south carolina
- OVER 54 for 0.5 unit
result: loss. fsu 26 sc 17
- FSU +3 for 1 unit
result: win.

party time.

1/1
citrus bowl: michigan st vs alabama
- OVER 51.5 for 1 unit
result: win. bama 49 msu 7

gator bowl: michigan vs mississippi st.
- MISS ST -3 for 1 unit
result: win. bulldogs 52 wolverines 14

rose bowl: tcu vs wisconsin
- TCU -2.5 for 2 units
result: loss. horned frogs 21 badgers 19

fiesta bowl: connecticut vs oklahoma
- parlay TCU -2.5/OKLAHOMA -13.5 for 0.5 unit to win 1 unit
- parlay OU -13.5/UNDER 28 1st half for 0.5 unit to win 1 unit
- tease OU -8.5/UNDER 60 for 1 unit
result: loss, loss and loss. sooners 48 huskies 20

back at it on monday with the orange bowl.

1/3
orange bowl: stanford vs virginia tech
- STANFORD -3 for 1 unit
i'm usually partial to quarterblacks but the hokies thrive on forced turnovers and i just don't see the harbaugh/luck led cardinal committing many.
- STAN -0.5 1st quarter for 1.5 units
season averages for 1st quarter: cardinal 12, hokies 6.3. plus, a couple hokies will be benched.
bullcaca.
- STAN -2.5 2nd half for 1 unit

orange bowl results and college bowl plays continued in part two.

2010-11 bowl season record:
straight bets: 10-9. 2.5 units
parlays/teasers: 1-7. -3.5 units
total -1 unit

NFL Week 15

Here are our picks for Week 15 in the NFL.

---------------

billy rubin: I really wish I could go back in time and pick the Chargers on Thursday night - that was a money pick for sure. Alas, the flux capacitor is on the fritz, so I'll just make three picks for today's games.

N.O. +2 @ BAL: The Ravens are more bark than bite on defense this year and their offense has been far from consistent. The Saints shouldn't be hampered in the passing game, although I would expect a slightly depressed rushing attack. If the Ravens are going to make this one interesting it'll be because of Ray Rice and Todd Heap.

HOU +1.5 @ TEN: The Titans can't stop anyone. Houston put up a lot of yards against a much better, but still not elite, Ravens D last week, so this should be a good day for the Houston offense. On the other side of the ball, Houston's D isn't any good either and the Titans may finally be figuring out how to move the ball. Nonetheless, I like Houston in this game.

MIA -5.5 vs. BUF: The Dolphins offense is a mess, no doubt about that, but the Bills defense is pretty anemic against the run. Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams should be able to handle this one on their own, and Miami's D is playing pretty well lately, so they should be able to keep the Bills in check.

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known associate:
NO +2 @bal- loss
AZ +2.5 @car- loss
PHI +3 @nyg- win

week 1-2
overall 25-20-2

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NE -14 @ GB

NE @ GB over 43.5

CHI -9 @ MIN

Any readers want to leave us any comments?

NFL Week 14

known associate:
MIA +5 @ nyj
win: dolphins 10 jets 6. ugly game. thank god for gambling.
den @ az UNDER 43.5
loss: cards 43 broncos 13. bullcaca 28 points in the last 6 minutes!
PHI -3.5 @ dal
loss: eagles 30 cowboys 27. always buy the hook.

week 1-2. season 24-18-2.

---------------

not your type:

ATL -7 @ CAR

OAK @ JAX -4

MIA @ NYJ -5.5

---------------

billy rubin:

ATL -7.5 @ CAR

win: falcons 31, panthers 10. matt ryan's handsomeness reigns supreme.

TB -1 @ WAS

tie: bucs 17, skins 16. there are ties in football?

PHI -3.5 @ DAL
loss: eagles 30, dallas 27. mike vick can beat dogs and cowboys, but he can't beat cowboys by enough. he should call stephen spielberg and get some aliens to help him out, although he will likely be foiled by james bond and han solo.

week: 1-1-1. season: 25-16-3

NFL Week 13

NFL Week 13

CLE @ MIA -3

CHI @ DET +3.5

BUF +6 @ MIN

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billy rubin:

NYG -7.5 vs. WAS

- win: NYG 31, WAS 7

DAL +5 @ IND

- win: DAL 38, IND 35

StL -3.5 @ AZ

- win: StL 19, AZ 6

week 3-0, overall 24-15-2

(10-3-1 after Week 4; 1-2 in Weeks 5, 7 & 11; 0-3 in Week 6; 1-1-1 in Week 8; 3-0 in Week 9; 2-1 in Weeks 10 & 12)

---------------

known assoiciate:

CHI -5.5 @ det
-loss: bears 24 lions 20
STL -3.5 @ az
-win: rams 19 cards 6
GB -9 vs sf
-win: pack 34 niners 16

week 2-1, overall 23-16-2
(2-1 each of the past 5 weeks. 1-2 for weeks 5 to 7. week 1 to 4 results previously posted.)

NFL Week 12

Not Your Type

JAX +7 @ NYG

MIN +2 @ WAS

PHI -3.5 @ CHI

---------------

billy rubin:

MIN -2.5 @ WAS

GB + 2 @ ATL

SD - 1.5 @ IND

---------------

known associate:
SD -1.5 @ ind
MIN -2.5 @ was
PHI -3 @ chi

NFL Week 11

Not Your Type wants to play R-Type

OAK +7 @ PIT

CLE +1.5 @ JAX

ATL -3 @ STL

---------------

billy rubin:

NYJ -6.5 vs. HOU

CLE +2.5 @ JAC

NOS -11.5 vs. SEA

---------------

known associate:
az @ kc UNDER 45
GB -3 @ min
CIN -4 vs buf

NFL Week 10 Late Post

Since I forgot to post last night, I'll pick from the remaining two games.

NE +4.5 @ PIT

NE @ PIT over 45

PHI -3 @ WAS

NFL 2010 Week 10

known associate...
PHI -3 @ was
HOU pk @ jax
det/buf UNDER 45

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billy rubin:

didn't have access to the computer for the morning games, so here goes nothing:

KC -1 @ DEN

StL +5 @ SF

PHI -3 @ WAS

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NFL 2010 Week 9

Not Your Type - not cashing in on the extra hour of sleep afforded to us by the switch to Standard Time...

IND +3 @ PHI

SD @ HOU +3

NYJ -4 @ DET

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Billy Rubin:

TB @ ATL over 45

NE @ CLE over 44

NYG -8 @ SEA

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shit. forgot about this in time for the morning games so..

known associate:
NYG -8 @ sea
IND +3 @ phi
kc/oak UNDER 41

NFL 2010 Week 8

Nacho Stripe

JAX +6.5 @ DAL

WAS +2 @ DET

SEA +2.5 @ OAK

---------------

known associate (via satellite from London)

NE -5.5 vs. MIN

SD -5 vs. TEN

JAC @ DAL under 43

---------------

billy rubin

StL -2.5 vs. CAR

MIA @ CIN over 44

TB + 3 @ ARI

NFL 2010 Week 7

Not Your Type

STL @ TB -3

NE +2 @ SD

WAS +3 @ CHI

----------------

Billy Rubin

PHI +2.5 @ TEN

BUF @ BAL u39

MIN +2.5 @ GB

----------------

known associate

SEA -6.5 vs. ARI

SD -2.5 vs. NE

OAK @ DEN u43

NFL 2010 Week 6

NYT

TEN -3 @ JAX

SEA +6 @ CHI

NYJ -3.5 @ DEN

---------------------

known assoiciate:

ATL +1.5 @ phi
CHI -6 vs sea
PIT -14 vs cle

---------------------

Billy Rubin:

ATL +1.5 @ PHI

CHI -6 vs SEA

NYG -10 vs DET

NFL 2010 Week 5

NYT:

JAX 0 @ BUF

STL @ DET -3

TEN +7 @ DAL

---------------

BR: I'm not terribly confident about many games this week, so here goes nothing (using the odds from vegasinsider.com).

JAX +2 @ BUF: Battle of the weaksauces to determine the weakest sauce of all.

StL +3 @ DET: St. Louis might just end up winning the NFC West. Detroit won't win anything.

SD -7 @ OAK: Oakland is just like Compton, but San Diego is just like a good football team, although Philip Rivers' numbers should be suppressed a little bit today.

--------------

KA:
(using lines from beteagle.com)
ATL -3 @ cle
SD -7 @ oak
DAL -6.5 vs ten

And the winner is...

We don't know yet, but there are fighter jets flying over my head right now. Last week, all three of us put up identical 2-1 records, indicating that we are 67% smart and 33% stupid. Here are our standings following Week 4:

KA: 8-4-2
BR: 10-3-1
NYT: 10-3-1

The End

Belated Week 3 Results Show

Collectively, we are super organized on this blog. Here are the results from our NFL picks for Week 3, about a week late:

KA: 2-1 (6-3-2 overall)
BR: 3-0 (8-2-1 overall)
NYT: 3-0 (8-2-1 overall)

None of us wins a wife yet.

NFL 2010 Week 4

NYT

HOU -3.5 @ OAK

CHI +3.5 @ NYG

NYJ -5.5 @ BUF

------------

BR

CIN -2.5 @ CLE

BAL +2.5 @ PIT

SDC 9.5 vs. ARI

------------

KA

DEN +6.5 @ ten
GB -14.5 vs det
SD -9.5 vs az

NFL 2010 Week 3

Week 3 of the 2010 NFL season is upon us, and we have worthless opinions to share on the results of this week's game. Enjoy.

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Billy Rubin's picks:

Cincinnati -3 @ Carolina: Carolina is bad - not bad meaning good, but bad meaning bad. Cincinnati is mediocre, meaning mediocre. Mediocre > bad.

Cleveland +11 @ Baltimore: Baltimore hasn't quite figured out their offense this year, and while this might very well be the game where they do, I think it'll be closer than 11 points.

Buffalo @ New England over 42.5: Buffalo can't stop New England's passing attack, which should be worth a few TDs. New England can't stop the pass either and, while Buffalo's offense is bad, it's not as bad as it seems. I think.

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NYT(again using Yahoo! Pick'em final lines):

Pick 1: PIT @ TB +3

The Buck-O's stick a pinky into the Steelers' booty with a shocker at home.

Pick 2: PHI -3 @ JAX

Vick will throw balls out of the stadium and the Eagles will cover...then Randall Cunningham will scramble...some eggs. The end!

Pick 3:

OAK +4.5 @ ARI

The Raiders, The Raiders will show the people of Arizona the advantages of having Daylight Savings Time.

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known associate texted these to billy rubin earlier...

CINCY -3 at carolina
MIAMI -2.5 vs ny jets
green bay at chicago OVER 46.
i changed my mind. game hasnt kicked off...
CHI +3 vs green bay.

The Genius

So, with our beloved Giants doing their best to reach the postseason, there has been plenty of talk of how general manager Brian Sabean deserves credit for putting together such a gutsy, enjoyable, and, most importantly, winning team. That's really a bunch of crap because what Sabean has done is finally piece together a kinda sorta league average offense after five consecutive years of dramatically subpar offensive campaigns. That's not hyperbole. From 2005 to 2009 the Giants ranked no higher than 10th in the National League in runs scored, and that was way back in 2006. In 2005, 2007 and 2008 they ranked 15th, and in 2009 they ranked 13th. By the way, there are 16 teams in the NL. So in three of the last five years the Giants have had the second worst offense in the league. Outstanding!

But wait, they're winning this year. Sabean must've finally figured out the game of baseball in his 14th year of being the Giants' GM, you say? Not really, the Giants ranked 10th in the NL in runs scored through yesterday's games (it's worth noting that tonight's game will probably boost them into 9th place, but there are still nine more games for them to exhibit their futility and fall back down to the lower third of the league).

Who cares? The team's winning, and that's what's important. Sure, that's what most people care about, but really, the more this team wins the longer we'll have Sabean around trying to rebuild late 90s/early 00s offenses, literally - Huff, DeRosa, Rowand, Burrell, Guillen. Which brings me to another issue; some people are saying Sabean's myriad transactions this year have been nothing short of genius (never mind the fact that he originally built the completely offensively inept team that needed to be totally rehauled on the fly just to be league average).

Don't get me wrong, some moves were indeed great, and necessary. Namely, jettisoning Bengie Molina to create room for Buster Posey. And getting Pat Burrell for nothing certainly has worked out. But I still don't quite understand the Cody Ross and Jose Guillen acquisitions. They didn't cost much, but the Giants already had a younger, better Jose Guillen in John Bowker (who was traded for Javier Lopez, and Lopez has been lights out for the Giants, but that's not my point right now). Ross offers more defensive versatility than Bowker or Guillen, and he's a better hitter than he's shown in his time with the Giants, but he's still not much to write home about. Not that Bowker is either, but please humor me.

So far in September, Cody Ross is batting .184/.279/.237 and Guillen is batting .259/.279/.431. Meanwhile, John Bowker is batting .250/.298/.477 for the Pirates. I'd rather have Bowker, who is two years younger than Ross and seven years younger than Guillen. Even if you prefer more advanced metrics Bowker is far superior, although certainly far from a really great option. Ross has a wOBA (weight On Base Average) in September of .233. Guillen's is .306. Bowker again beats both with a wOBA of .327. Granted, this is based on three weeks worth of stats and probably doesn't mean a whole lot, but it highlights the fact that Sabean doesn't really know how to assess offensive ability, and the Giants as an organization can't seem to develop any useful position players, save for extreme talents like Buster Posey (and hopefully Pablo Sandoval, although that's severely in doubt at this point).

Defense is definitely a factor to consider, and Ross has value based on the fact that he CAN play centerfield, whereas Guillen and Bowker would never find themselves in center under any circumstances. That likely played a key role in the Giants' decision to pick up Ross, since Aaron Rowand is sooooo good at everything. However, while Guillen still appears to have a pretty strong arm in rightfield, fangraphs indicates that his overall defense is lacking, based on a UZR/150 of -4.9. Bowker, on the other hand, wouldn't necessarily be a defensive upgrade over Guillen, as his UZR/150 is 11.7 in leftfield, but -36.1 in right.

What's my point? I think it's partly that my hatred for Brian Sabean is justified and partly that, while it is fun to root for the Giants to go as far as they can this year, the reality is this isn't a very good team and whatever it achieves this year will be more than it should have. Then next year Brian Sabean will put together another crappy offensive team that will barely score enough to eek out just enough wins to make their games relevant in September. Then sooner or later there will be no Lincecum, Cain or Sanchez and we'll just have Buster Posey (hopefully) and a whole bunch of crap. Hummm baby, indeed.

NFL Week 2 - Results

known associate : 1-1-1(overall: 4-2-2)
Billy Rubin: 3-0(5-2-1)
Not Your Type: 2-1(5-2-1)

NFL 2010 Week 2

Welcome to week two of three guys trying to pick winners in order to win points towards being cool.


NYT: Since I'm lazy, I'm only going to choose against the spread using the final line provided by the pick'em game on Yahoo. Use Yahoo, they are great! Maybe join a public pick'em league to show them who's Boss Nass? Meesa pick now...

Pick #1

PIT @ TEN : PIT +5

These guys are gonna play like Spy vs. Spy, except substitute "DEF" for "Spy". Def Jef says "Give it Here".

Result: +1 - The Steelers stole the Titans' lunch money and bought Garbage Pail Kids.

Pick #2

STL @ OAK : STL +3.5

STL won't try to win, the WILL win.

Result: +1 - The Rams didn't win, but the Raiders, the Raiders only won by 2.

Pick #3

JAX @ SD: JAX +7

No Fakin' JAX here.

Result: -1 - My pick got laid on their backs.

Looks like I favor dogs in red costumes with blue capes .

----------------------

known associate's favorite favorites:

HOU -3 @ was
texans are legit.

NE -2.5 @ nyj
tom brady > mark sanchez. in handsomeness, of course.

SD -7 vs. jax
bounce back game for the chargers. jags no good on the road.

----------------------

i was kind of out of town and without computer access until just about now, but i texted known associate my picks this morning. they are/were:

KC +3 @ CLE

somebody is less crappy than somebody else, yay parity!

CHI +7 @ DAL

i actually like the bears this year. i haven't actually liked the cowboys since i used to root for them because my dad and uncle rooted for the redskins. plus, the cowboys are probably the most overrated team in professional sports.

TB +4 @ CAR

josh freeman > matt moore, in terms of dick size, of course.

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Albums of the Last Five Months

So, it's been a little bit since I did one of these posts, and I just know that somebody somewhere was just dying to read a new one. Instead of running down all the albums I've listened to over the past five months or so, I'm going to highlight a few albums that really stood out to me during that time.

The first, and probably the best, is Big K.R.I.T.'s K.R.I.T. Wuz Here. I guess it's technically a mixtape, but there's minimal annoying DJ yelling, and all the tracks are album quality, in terms of lyrics and production, if not mastering (the levels are pretty low). There are plenty of other blogs that go for in depth reviewing the album, but to me it sounds a lot like vintage mid-90s Dirty South rap, before everything got too crunk. That's not to say that this is a throwback album, or doesn't sound fresh for 2010, just that it's got a more classic sound with less trendy, more introspective lyrics. According to K.R.I.T.'s wikipedia page, he was recently signed to Def Jam. I'm eagerly awaiting a major label album with some better engineering and hopefully a big enough budget to clear all his samples. Here are a few of my favorite tracks from K.R.I.T. Wuz Here: "Return of Forever" (featuring Big Sant), "Hometown Hero", "Glass House" (featuring Curren$y and Wiz Khalifa), "Moon & Stars" (featuring Devin the Dude). Okay, there really isn't a bad song on this album. Go download it here, and thank me later. Oh, he kinda looks like Tracy Morgan too.

The second album that was on heavy rotation for me over the last several months is Trunk Muzik by Yelawolf, a white and Cherokee rapper from Alabama (Big K.R.I.T. is from Mississippi, by the way). I had seen posts on various hip hop blogs about Yelawolf, but he kinda looks like Travis Barker and I didn't really want to listen to Travis Barker rap. But then known associate told me that Trunk Muzik was actually pretty good, so I decided to download it and find out for myself. Lo and behold, it was pretty good - I think I ended up becoming more of a fan than known associate, probably because my 98 Volvo's stereo bumps a little harder than his 96 RAV4. I think this album, which, like Wuz Here, is technically more of a mixtape, is definitely made for the car. Trunk Muzik built up quite a buzz for Yelawolf, who I believe shares the same management as Outkast's Big Boi, and is featured on a song on Big Boi's latest album; and Yelawolf signed with Interscope earlier this year. This is the title track, and here a couple other standout tracks. Download the album/mixtape here.

The third album that I've played the shit out of is Die Antwoord's $O$. You can read about Die Antwoord here. I'm getting a little lazy, so here are some links to some of my favorite songs from the album. They seem to be a love 'em or hate 'em type of group, so approach with caution. I personally love them, but my girlfriend hates them. This song is hilarious to me, but it's not on $O$. I don't really like this song, but the video is worth watching. Ok, that's it.

NFL 2010 Week 1 - The Results Show

Not Your Type: 3-1-1
known associate: 3-1-1
Billy Rubin: 2-2-1

...and some dude gets voted off!
-NYT

NFL 2010 Week 1

Imma pick some teams and scores and stuff and write a run-on sentence while I'm at it because I don't believe in sentence structure or punctuation.;,:"^picks now -

Lines are based on http://sportsdirect.usatoday.com/odds/usatoday/odds.aspx as of 9:33 PM. The numbers are based on the average of the high and low numbers provided.

Pick #1:

Bengals vs. Partriots over 44

I'm looking for some Tooshdowns.

Result: Success - The score wasn't looking too good early on, but these guys easily surpassed 44. Wes Welker showed that leg surgery can't slow him down and Chad 85 played like it was 2007.

Pick #2:

Colts vs. Texans: Texans +2.5

Hella passing, with the Texans having a bit more hella.

Result: Success - Schaub didn't get the numbers I thought he'd get, but Manning threw enough for two Alex Smiths. Arian Foster flexed his leg muscles, though. If he was a little metal marble, he ran himself ragged and ran the Texans to victory.

Bonus points for anybody that gets the obscure reference.

Pick # 3:

Ravens vs. Jets: Ravens +2.5

The Ravens will crack open a soda and put some Crush on the Jets. They will have it all and make it real.

Result: Success - Apparently, naming some of the Jets' hit songs worked.

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Billy Rubin is at Disneyland, and he's typing in the third person. I'm using Vegas Insider's current line for Caesers/Harrah's/Rio for my lines, except for the cocaine lines, I'm using cocaine for those.

Here are my picks:

Seattle +3 vs. San Francisco: I'm a hater and I hate Mike Singletary. Plus, Pete Carroll is a bad NFL coach, but Mike Singletary is a worse NFL coach. And Jimmy Raye.

Result: Success! Good job Niners, you made me look smart...and in the process you all looked like damned fools. (I didn't actually watch the game, so I don't really know what anybody looked like. Except Mike Singletary and Jimmy Raye, they look like morons all the time).

Baltimore +2.5 @ New York Jets: Mark Sanchez isn't that great. Shonn Greene can't catch. The Jets WRs are weaksauce. Joe Flacco is secretly really good and there's only one Darrelle Revis.

Result: Success! Mark Sanchez did his best Alex Smith.

Detroit @ Chicago, over 44.5: It's gonna be like they're smoking hella blunts in Chicago - pass, pass, pass, pass, pass.

Result: Failure! (cue sad trombones). Matthew Stafford wasn't supposed to get hurt this early. Geez, give me a heads up next time.

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known associate will most definitely not be laying down any real money on the following picks:

Dolphins -3 @ Bills... win 15-10 miami
Packers -3 @ Eagles... win 27-20 green bay
Texans +1.5 vs. Colts... win 34-24 houston
(3-1-1 overall)




image via zimbio.

NFL Kickoff Special

happy NFL folks!
we're not dead.
we'll have 3 picks per week starting this weekend but here's a lil treat to get y'all started.

known associate and billy rubin agree:
saints -5 & over 49

bet the house!


sorry, didnt have time to find a better image.

update-
not your type picks:
vikings +5 & over 49

Albums of the Week: Serani, Ya Boy & Big Rich, Los Campesinos! & E-40

I'm about a month behind on these posts (and I know our imaginary readers have been holding their breath in eager anticipation), so this will be a four-for-one.  About four weeks ago, I listened to Serani's debut album, No Games, for a week. Serani's biggest song, "No Games", is a personal favorite of mine, both for its undeniable infectiousness and also for sentimental reasons as it reminds me of a friend's bachelor party trip to Costa Rica. The rest of the album is more than merely listenable, and while I won't call it a great album, I will say that it decidedly made me long for more tropical environs. In his own genius words: "It's, it's, it's Serani, just in case you never know."

After a week of upbeat dancehall, I listened to Ya Boy and Big Rich's new EP, Guns & Roses. For better or worse, this was about what I expected it would be - some 2010 mob style music. Nothing groundbreaking here, but it's something to ride to. 

Following a week of Frisco rap, I decided to partake in some Welsh indie rock courtesy of Los Campesinos! and their third album, Romance Is Boring, which was released earlier this year. I had read about Los Campesinos! a couple of times in Spin over the last couple of years and their albums had always been on my lengthy list of shit to buy. I finally busted a huge CD-buying nut earlier this months, which included buying all three of their albums. For some reason, this was the first album I decided to listen to. At the time, it was enjoyable enough, but nothing stood out as terribly great and, two weeks later, I can't really remember much of the album, so I guess you can say it was forgettable.

Last week, I decided to listen to the first of E-40's latest double release: Revenue Retrievin': Day Shift. I used to be the biggest E-40 hater, pretty much throughout the whole 90s, but since then I've really come to appreciate his genius and Day Shift only served to reinforce that appreciation.  I'm too lazy to break down individual songs, but of the 19 tracks, the only one I really wasn't feeling was the obligatory sex track - "Fuck You Right". I also felt like 40 dumbed down his flow on "Whip It Up" to match the guest artist, Gucci Mane. Other than that, I genuinely liked the rest of the album and the majority of the beats knocked in my 1998 Volvo wagon. Since I gave my least favorite song some shine in this post, here are some of the standout tracks: "Bitch", "Duck", and "The Art of Storytellin'".

An Open Letter

Dear Asshole Dog Owners of South San Francisco,

Please clean up your dogs' fucking shit. I have a dog, and while cleaning up his shit isn't the most fun part of dog ownership, it isn't that fucking hard. There's a Pet Club at Westborough Plaza and poopie bags aren't that expensive. Or you can just use a plastic grocery bag, or your goddamned hands. I really don't give a fuck. There's just no excuse for the sidewalk to be littered with piles of dog shit, and I don't like having to go out of my way to avoid stepping on it, or risking my own dog stepping in your dog's shit. I wish I knew where you assholes lived so I could leave my dog's shit on your porch to return the favor. 

In the meantime, stay classy South City.

Sincerely, 

Billy Rubin

Album of the Week: Wild Young Hearts

Once again, I'm just a little late with this post. Last week I listened exclusively to the Noisettes' second album, Wild Young Hearts. I was put on to the Noisettes by known associate sometime last year, but I just threw the album in my itunes and only listened to it randomly on shuffle. Last week was the first time I really paid attention to any of the song, and, I must say, I was pretty impressed. The lead singer, Shingai Shoniwa, has a powerful and unique voice, although at times it can get a little too Ertha Kitt-ish. At time, the Noisettes are reminiscent of something Mark Ronson might have a hand in, but they also remind me of Josie and the Pussycats sometimes - the 2001 movie version - which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think I had more to say about this album about four days ago, but I've since forgotten and become engrossed by the subtle innuendos of Serani. 

It's Always Funny...

This is good.

Album of the Week: The Stimulus Package

As you may have guessed from the above image, I spent last week listening to Freeway & Jake One's album, The Stimulus Package. If the internets are any indication, this album was one of the most highly anticipated hip hop albums in early 2010, and I am split on my feelings about it. Every song on the album was produced by The Emerald City's own Jake One and, by and large, the beats are top notch.  "Follow My Moves" is my favorite song on the album, which probably speaks more to my recent infatuation with ignant rap than to Jake One's beat making skills. Other stand out beats include: "She Makes Me Feel Alright" and "Microphone Killa".

So the beats hold up; "What about the lyrics?", you ask. I've never been a Freeway fan, per se, but I kind of always thought that he had some value as a rapper. Prior to the release of The Stimulus Package, if you had asked me about Freeway, I probably would've said that I liked his delivery. Apparently, I would've been wrong. After listening to The Stimulus Package several times, I am about 95% certain that Freeway can't carry an album on his own. He wastes a lot of Jake One's beats on this album, and his cadence, more often that not, is annoying and juvenile to me. In addition, he drops some pretty retarded lyrics like: "I'm the MC with the hammer that is too legit to quit", and "Row, row, row your boat". Yes, he actually says that. I'm not a big fan of listening to strictly instrumentals, but The Stimulus Package is definitely a hip hop album that's better sans lyrics.

Album of the Week: Explainin'

This is going to hopefully be the first in a series of weekly music posts. I spend about 15 to 20 minutes a day driving to and from BART, which is just about enough time to listen to an album two or three times in a given week. Every Sunday I'm planning on posting a little review of the album I listened to during my daily commute in the preceding week. These won't necessarily be new albums, as evidenced by this week's selection; they'll just be whatever I'm listening to for whatever reason. What inspired this, you might ask. Well, I finally made the transition into the late 1990s in terms of car stereos with the death of my 1991 Volvo sedan and the subsequent acquisition of a "new" 1998 Volvo wagon - with a single-disc CD player, no less!

This particular post actually reflects what I was listening to two weeks ago because I didn't have time to post anything until now. About two weeks ago, known associated and I were chatting about how Bored Stiff pretty peaked with their debut EP, Explainin', which got me wanting to revisit the album. Needless to say, it's really stood up well and, unfortunately, kind of makes their more recent releases that much more disappointing. 

I think Explainin' was released in 1994, but I could be wrong about that. It wasn't until about '95 or '96 that I became aware of it and then I proceeded to jock Bored Stiff pretty hard for a bit. Prior to hearing Explainin', most of the "Frisco rap" I had heard trended toward gangsta' or mob-style music (RBL, JT, San Quinn, etc), whereas Bored Stiff, while not necessarily being "un-street", had a less typical sound and range of topics, without ever failing to rep the 'Sco. To sum it all up, Explainin' was a groundbreaking EP to me that foresaw the emergence of the non-gangsta' Bay Area underground that flourished in the late 90s, and still sounds fresh, in every sense of the word.  For anyone looking to cop the album these days, it's been re-released with a handful of bonus tracks, including "Therapy", which is easily my favorite track from the first Bomb Hip Hop Compilation.

Hello Everybody Got To Tell You...Wh...Wh...What You Want To Do

My vocabulary is not strong enough to add anything to the above video. Watch it. Then watch it again. Then keep watching it. Then change your pants because you peed in them a little, didn't you? Thank you again, internets, I love you.

You're Not So Stingaaaaaayyyyyy

McDonald's commercials generally tend to support my theory that we're witnessing the decline of Western Civilization and the end of the world is nigh. This particular commercial is no different, but for some reason I can stop listening to it...or singing in my head. We're doomed.

Joe Montana, G.O.A.T./Peyton Manning, Goat.

i try to avoid having hate in my heart but, last night, Peyton Manning's failure gave me great joy... and it probably had something to do with hate in my heart. all week, the media was proclaiming his greatness and setting the stage for Manning to lay claim as the greatest of all time. all this for a quarterback who entered this postseason with a sub .500 career postseason record. dont get me wrong, i think Peyton's a good one. a great one, even. at worst, he's one of the top 3 QBs of his generation. but the greatest of all time? please.

all-time greats do thangs like this:

Soup Or Sundae

Rumor has it there was a big football game today. My internet was down earlier so I didn't get to post this before kickoff, but here are our picks for the final game of the 2009-10 NFL season.

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Billy Rubin:

Saints +5 and over 57

(Saints 31, Colts 17 W, L)

(week 1-1, playoffs 6-6, season 31-31-1)

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Known Associate:

Saints +5 and under 57
(Saints 31, Colts 17 W, W)

(week 2-0, playoffs 8-4, season 37-24-2)

My New Favorite Rapper

I don't know too much about OJ Da Juiceman, except that he's from Atlanta, has been featured on some Gucci Mane songs, I was able to get his debut album at Ameoba for about $5 and he may be the most ignant of the ignant rappers. His wikipedia page has a little more info, but that's not what's important. What's important is that he's allegedly released 32 mixtapes and, by his own admission, does not have the best vocabulary. He's not the best rapper around in terms of style or content, far from it in fact, but he's pretty damned entertaining to me. So much so that I downloaded a handful of his mixtapes and ordered a couple others from Amazon. His most recent mixtape is O.R.A.N.G.E. with DJ Drama. My favorite songs on it are "Penis" and "Not Tonite". You can download O.R.A.N.G.E. here. In addition, here are links I found to some of his older mixtapes from 2009: I Got the Juice, 6 Ringz and Alaska in Atlanta. 

Image via Urban Music Direct.

I Really Want to Eat This

I saw a commercial for this a couple days ago and immediately wanted to jump through the screen and eat it. I try to eat healthy and I rarely eat fast food, but I am definitely making an exception sometime in the very near future. There's actually a press release about this sandwich/burger.

Image via Carl's Jr.

Get Lost!

The premier episode of the final season of ABC's Lost is on tonight, giving my metaphorical TV watching penis the biggest boner ever! Click here to read some good Lost coverage and get ready for tonight's episode. I believe there's an hour long recap at 8pm on ABC, followed by the two-hour premier at 9pm.

Image via ABC.

Let's Work the Network

One of our collective best friends recently started a blog of his own.
Check it out here.

My Top 20 Albums of the Aughts

This post has been a long time coming. Sometime back in November or December I came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to compile a list of the top 20 albums of the past decade - because that is a completely original idea that nobody else would duplicate as the first decade of the current millennium was coming to an end. Unfortunately, I have no real musical background that qualifies me to say what is or is not "good" music, but I do buy a shitload of music and, at the very least, that qualifies me to have some opinions. Instead of trying to come up with albums that had some significant cultural impact or any other such pretentious reasons, I just tried to figure out which albums I got the most enjoyment out of over the past 10 years and which ones still sound good today. Being a nerd, I tried to quantify each album's "goodness", but there's no need to go into that here.

In no particular order, here are my top 20 albums of the aughts:

The Darkness, Permission to Land (2003). This album was on heavy rotation in my old '87 Bronco...until that car prematurely died. Justin Hawkins' voice is easily my most favorite singing voice of the past decade. Permission to Land is generally regarded as The Darkness' best album, although they only released two before breaking up. Subsequent to the break-up and after emerging from rehab, Justin Hawkins formed a new band, Hot Leg, and their album is definitely worth seeking out.

Kanye West, College Dropout (2004). All four of Kanye's albums could easily be on this list, but I chose College Dropout because it was the first new hip hop album I bought after being turned off by most early 2000s hip hop (something I blame CVE and Ellay Khule for). Kanye's definitely continued to improve as a rapper and producer since College Dropout, but it still stands the test of time, just like Sammy Hagar's finest lyrics.

Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III (2008). Similar to Kanye, just about any, or every, Lil Wayne album from the past decade could be on this list, but I warmed to Lil Wayne later than most people and The Carter III is his first album that I actually looked for to. Needless to say, I thought the wait was well worth it.

Outkast, Stankonia (2000). Outkast and CVE were just about the only hip hop groups I listened to in the early part of the past decade. I remember going to Tower Records at Stonestown the morning this album came out, either right before or right after class at SF State. That Tower Records no longer exists, but this album still sounds fresh. I really wanted to include "Humble Mumble" or "Red Velvet" on the playlist below, but they weren't available.

Plastic Little, She's Mature (2006). Plastic Little is a rap group from Philadelphia that I don't really know too much about, but I like their music, especially their humorous lyrics. My favorite song on the album is "Rap O'Clock".

Tegan and Sara, If It Was You (2002). Since I heard "Monday Monday Monday", the lead single off It It Was You, Tegan and Sara have been one of my favorite groups of all time. This is another album that was on heavy rotation in my Bronco. This list could very easily include Tegan and Sara's three subsequent albums, but this is the album that turned me on to them and it's their "hardest" album in my opinion, so it makes the list.

Weezer, Weezer, aka The Green Album (2001). I totally slept on Weezer in high school, when I was too busy listening to only hip hop, but since getting into them, not coincidentally around the time this album was released, they've become on my favorite bands. Rivers Cuomo is a great nerd songwriter and I'm a great song-listener, so it's a perfect match.

San Quinn, The Rock: Pressure Makes Diamonds (2006). San Quinn carried the torch for Frisco rappers in the aughts and this was probably his best album from beginning to end.

Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend (2008). The blogerati's favorite album of 2008 was pretty damned good. Who knew a bunch of preppy whiteboys could incorporate African rhythms into catchy indie pop songs so easily?

XRabit + DMG$, Hello World (2009). A British producer hooked up with a Houston rap duo to make what is probably my favorite rap album of 2009. It also appears to be one of the more slept on albums of the year. "Damaged Goods" is my favorite track on the album, but I can't find a link to it so here are two of their songs: "Follow the Leader" and "Ferris Bueller".

B.O.B., Hi! My Name is B.O.B. (2008). This is technically a mixtape from Atlanta-based rapper B.O.B., aka Bobby Ray, but it's better than most rap albums that came out in the last few years. B.O.B.'s proper debut album is supposed to be released in May 2010, but a simple search can probably find all the songs he's released to date. As another option, 2dopeboyz.com put together a digital version of what they thought his first album should've been.

Mates of State, Team Boo (2003). I saw this husband and wife duo open for Santigold and immediately went to the merch table and bought three of their albums. This is my favorite album of theirs.

MURS, The End of the Beginning (2003). MURS isn't exactly the same rapper today that he was in the late 90s, but this album still holds up. Further, the cover art features a bunch of action figures - that's more than enough to win me over.

The Virgins, The Virgins (2008). I'm not sure when Dance Rock became an official genre of music, but this is my favorite Dance Rock album. This is my evidence: Exhibit A, Exhibit B and Exhibit C.

The-Dream, Love Hate (2007). Despite the fact that The Dream is probably plotting against humanity, he's helped make some of the most popular songs of the past few years and Love Hate is arguably the best R&B album of the aughts. The Dream's second album, Love vs. Money, was a borderline great album as well and his next album, Love King, should provide more of the same.

Afroman, The Good Times (2001). This is probably where I lose whatever credibility I had been building, but I think Afroman is probably the single most underrated rapper of all time. I would imagine everybody knows his biggest, and possibly only, commercial success, "Because I Got High", and I'm sure he's been written off as a one-hit wonder as a result. Afroman's flow isn't complex and his beats aren't exactly groundbreaking, but his songs sure are fun to listen to. He's got some pretty funny concepts and lyrics, and he's not afraid to do his best to write some more poignant songs. All things being equal, "Palmdale" is easily my favorite Afroman song.

Santigold, Santogold (2008). If memory serves, this was one of the most anticipated albums of 2008, and it actually stood up to the hype. Two years later it still sounds good, although maybe not as great as I thought it was when it first came out. "L.E.S. Artistes" is one of my favorite songs of the decade.

Chromeo, Fancy Footwork (2007). Chromeo is another group I initially slept on, but once I became aware of them I jocked them pretty hard for a minute. Their music kind of reminds me of what Hall & Oates might be doing if they were new artists in the 2000s, although Chromeo's vocals obviously pale in comparison to Darryl Hall.

Ghostface Killah, Fishscale (2006). Easily the most relevant Wu-Tang member in the 2000s, Ghostface had a strong run in the early to middle part of the decade, and Fishscale is his most complete album as far as I'm concerned.

Jules Santana, What the Game's Been Missing! (2005). I never fully jumped on the Dipset bandwagon, but I think this is easily the best Dipset album and one of the better hip hop albums of the decade. In addition to clever wordplay, this album boasts some of the most ridiculous beats from the past ten years.

There you have it, my top 20 favorite albums form the first decade of the 2000s. Below is a playlist with one song form each of the above albums. Hopefully now that football season is winding to a close, known associate will be able to post something similar.

Image via The GIBSON & Baldwin Player.