Friday, September 30, 2011

Help A Dog Out

I've done this once before, but I'd like to appeal to our reader(s) on behalf of a Cocker Spaniel stuck in a shelter in Los Angeles who is suffering from a really bad case of mange, which is "a skin disease caused by parasitic mites that causes severe itching, hair loss, and the formation of scabs and lesions." I know I probably love dogs and, specifically, Cocker Spaniels more than anybody who might read this, but if you can spare a few bucks, or if you're not sure what team to put your $25 on, but it's just burning a whole in your pocket, please think about helping this dog get the treatment she needs.

Here's a link to a page about her story and the organization that's trying to help her. The image is kinda disturbing because her mange is so bad, so I apologize in advance.

Here's the ChipIn that's been set up for her.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

NFL 2011 Week 4

picks to come in the next few days. in the meantime, here's a short video.

known associate:
initial leans... saints, vikings, giants, pats and the sunday night over
MIN -2 at kc. 4 nuts.
this line is soft because both teams are winless and the chiefs kept it close against an overrated chargers team last week. meanwhile, vikes DT kevin williams returned from suspension and proved he's still an elite talent, further bolstering a line that includes all-pro jared allen and emerging brian robison at DE. minnesota has outscored opponents 54-7 in first halves. this will be the week they stop fuckin around and ride their horse All Day to close out the game.. while the chiefs continue to give andrew luck a reason to return for his senior season on the farm.
- chiefs 22 vikings 17. note to self: don't go big on questionable teams, on the road. -4 nuts.

NO -7 at jax. 4 nuts.
i'll take drew brees and blitz-happy gregg williams to cover against rookie blaine gabbert and the jags lackluster passrush.
- saints 23 jaguars 10. saints left some points on the board. +4 nuts.

den at GB -11.5. 1 nut.
also, small plays on detroit, carolina and probably the overs in oakland and baltimore.
- packers 49 broncos 23. +1 nut.
known associate week 4: 2-1. +1 nut.

blue whale:
leaning towards bills, lions, pats/raiders over..ride the hot hand

NFL has not been kind to me, I have better success with college football. Note that i think that this week's board is straight crap. I am on a loosing streak so my picks are fade material.

San Francisco Ninas at Philadelphia Iggles -9.5 Niners on the road for the second straight week as their stout run defense faces a rumored prolific offense in the Eagles. Niners haven't allowed a 100 yd rusher in the past three games and the unheralded Lesean McCoy has rushed for more than 120 yds in two games this season. Smith will have trouble throwing the ball to his recievers but the ground attack should be able to shred up that eagles run defense. Vick should be able to score through the air as well. Eagles by 2 tds, for three nuts. fade me.

final score NINAS 24 Iggles 23. told you

Atlanta Falcons at Seattle Seahacks +5 the only thing that I got going for this game is that CenturyLink Field is very loud and a tough place to play for opposing teams. That and 94% of the public is on Atlanta. I mean why would you bet against Matt Ryan when you have Tavaris Jackson. Or Roddy, Julio and Tony when you have one Dude named Sidney. I know Turner lost a step but would you put your money on Marshawn Lynch? That goon from the Town who brushed off the entire saints Defense during that incomparable 67 yard td run during the playoffs. three nuts. fade this too

final score DirtyBirds 30 Seahacks 28. i got lucky

last but not least Denver Broncos +12 at Green Bay Packers Kyle Orton is one of the most unreliable QBs in this league. But During his days as a Chicago Bear, Matt Forte campaigned strong for rookie of the year consideration, tight end Greg Olson caught 8 tds. As a Bronco QB Brandon Marshall caught double digit TDS and had over 1000 YDS receiving. Even Brandon Lloyd metamorphasized from broke dick to big cock under Orton as a signal caller. New England D gives up the most points and the Green Bay comes second. Green Bay is gonna win this game for sure but not by 12. I dont know errr 4 nuts. like totally fadable

final score Broncos 23 FudgePackers 49. fade.

billy rubin:
my strongest leans right now are minnesota, lions, saints and skins. also kinda feeling niners, titans, texas, raiders and ravens, but to a much lesser extent than those first four.

and here are my picks:

MIN -3 @ KC (4 nuts): that's what i get for posting after known associate. i'm not worried about the extra point though, i think minny should win by at least a TD for the simple fact that vikings running game > chiefs running game.
-KC 22 MIN 17. i don't think betting on games involving AFC west teams is all that smart. -4 nuts.

NOS -7 @ JAC (4 nuts): i guess these two games must be locks if known associate and i agree, huh? brees vs. gabbert, you make the call.
-NOS 23 JAC 10. lower scoring and a little closer than i thought, but good enough for me. +4 nuts.

DET +2.5 @ DAL (2 nuts): i've got detroit winning this game straight up and tony romo possibly being murdered by suh. seriously though, detroit shouldn't have a problem passing on dallas and the lions' defense should be enough to keep the battered cowboys in check. for what it's worth, i still feel pretty strongly about washington -3 at st. louis.
-DET 34 DAL 30. thank you, tony romo and jason garrett. +2 nuts.
billy rubin week 4: 2-1, +2 nuts

Not Your Type

NYG -1 @ ARI (2 nuts): Eli Manning will look constipated while defeating the Cardinals. What? He always looks like that?

NYJ @ BAL -4 (5 nuts): Run.

BUF @ CIN over 43.5 (3 nuts) Throw.

records through week 3:
Billy Rubin: 5-3-1. +6 nuts.
known associate: 4-5. -2 nuts
Blue Whale: 4-4-1. -3 nuts
Not Your Type: 3-6. -7 nuts

Collits Football 2011 Three (..but actually fif week)

....................................................... 9.29.11 .......................................................

Blue Whale:
University South Florida Bulls -2.5 at Pittsburg University Panthers
Bulls opened up as 3 point favorites with 94% of the consensus picking the Bulls. Now the line is at -2.5. In my opinion books are loading up an buying that .5 point so the Bulls maintain that value. At first glance the line looks fishy. The way South Florida have been rolling over opponents I would think the spread would be -7 or even -10. But the Panthers have the Bulls' number. The past two game they have matched up, Pitt have given South Florida QB BJ Daniels fits going 4/8 with 54 yds passing and 2 ints and 15/29 with 132 yds and 1 int. Revenge should be a factor on the primetime stage. That's why I am putting 3 nuts on South Florida -2.5.
- panthers 44 bulls 17. -3 nuts. lesson learned bet against the heavy public.

leans for saturday: stanford, lsu, clemson, virginia tech, baylor, wisky and roll tide.

known associate:
still shying away from betting against espn thursday night home dogs so...
houston at utep OVER 65 for 1 nut.
not televised locally.. so this isn't a degenerate play, fwiw.
- cougars 49 miners 42. i lied. it was televised on the (newly discovered) cbs sports network. and the offenses were so dominant they winded themselves. really. at the end of one long screen play, rb charles sims fell/dove across the goal line due to exhaustion, then needed help getting back to the sideline. case showed nice touch and accuracy. joe flashed speed. this game was played in 95 degree heat. +1 nut.

might have a play tmrw. saturday, for sure.

....................................................... 9.30.11 .......................................................

Blue Whale:
Utah St. at Bringham Young -7.5
This degenerate matchup is gonna turn my week around. Can't see it any other way. BYU for two nuts. Adding under 50 for two more.
- cougars 27 aggies 24. -4 nuts. maybe college ain't my forte.

....................................................... 10.1.11 .......................................................

known associate:
baylor at KSU +3.5. 2 nuts.
robert griffin III is fun to watch but i'm picking arthur brown and the home-dog wildcats for an outright win.
- wildcats 36 bears 35. rg3 is officially my latest quarterblack mancrush. the former high school track star has almost as many passing tds (18) as incompletions (20) this season. one of those tds was a cold-blooded backfoot 35 yarder on 4th down to the equally impressive kendall wright. unfortunately for the bears, one of those incompletions was a late game interception (rg3's 1st this season) by arthur brown that set up the winning field goal for the wildcats. +2 nuts.

arizona team total OVER 22.5 (at usc). 1 nut.
the trojans are bunk and WR juron criner (6-4, 215) has a favorable matchup against CB nickell robey (5-foot-8, 165 pounds).
- trojans 48 wildcats 41. criner got his td. true freshman ka'deem carey is someone to watch. both defenses are bunk. +1 nut.

alabama at florida UNDER 44.5. 1 nut.
also played the tide at -3. dre kirkpatrick is fresh. trent richardson > mark ingram.
- crimson tide 38 gators 10. -1 nut. roll tide.

collits records through 10/1:
known associate. 4-2. 3 nuts
Not Your Type. 0-1. -2 nuts
Blue Whale. 3-5. -10 nuts

Saturday, September 24, 2011

NFL 2011 Week 3

Billy Rubin:

CLE -2 vs MIA - 3 Nuts: Miami's probably not that bad a team, but this is their first road game. I know they've been a better road team under Sparano, but I still think playing at home should play to Cleveland's advantage in this game. Miami's D has been far from stout so far this year, although they've played two of the better offensive teams the first two weeks. Cleveland's offense hasn't exactly lit up the scoreboard either, but I think this might be just the right circumstances for the Browns to cover.

DET -3 @ MIN - 2 Nuts: Hopefully this isn't just me trying to make up for not going big enough on Detroit last week. Division game on the road, I know, but I think the Lions should be able to pass all over Minny. I really hope this isn't the week Stafford's shoulder breaks this year.

CIN - 2.5 vs. SF - 2 Nuts: I wasn't sure if I should go with this game, against my hometown Niners, or Baltimore over St. Louis, but the line for Baltimore keeps moving in the wrong direction for my liking, so I'm taking the Bengals. Niners first road game and it's an early game. Those factors and the fact that the Niners haven't be very good at all in any facet of the offensive game should be enough for Cincy to win by a field goal and let Cris Collinsworth finger his asshole in peace. There are a lot of moving pieces in this game though, so I wouldn't be totally surprised if the Niners shock it/Bengals implode.

0-2-1 (-5 nuts)

Blue Whale:

HOU at NOR -4 2 Nuts: Saints will not go down at their house

KAN 14 at SDG 2 Nuts: I'm not trying to start any mess. Kansas City can't be that bad. In a divisional matchup it's hard to take the favorite in a double digit spread. Kansas City has weapons and I think with McCluster getting touches out of the backfield, he adds a nice dimension to the offense. Haley is in the hot seat and this is a must win situation for him and the Chiefs. Plus the reason why I'm taking the Chiefs is because they are a two TD dog in this matchup and the book is offering a moneyline wager for this game still. Public is heavy on both the Chargers spread and ML by 79% each. Nothing is easy in Vegas.

JAC 2.5 at CAR 2 Nuts: Again I am going against the concensus here as the public has jumped on the Cam Newton Bandwagon with 79% on the Panthers ML. Newton is electrifying but this is the NFL where teams will eventually figure you out. Newton is 0-2 for a reason, he has 4 picks to his 3 tds. Granted it is still early in the season but teams will exploit that weakness. Blaine Gabbert will prove to be an exceptional upgrade from Luke McCown and hopefully spread the defense just a little to create space for MJD to run amuck.

2-1 (2 nuts)

known associate:
sf at CIN -1. 3 nuts
- niners 13 bengals 8. a win is a win is a win (unless you bet cincy). go niners.
ne at buf OVER 54.5. 2 nuts
- pats 31 bills 34. ea$y.
WAS +3.5 at dal. 2 nuts
- skins 16 tony romo 18. uhh, i still don't know what to make of this game.. but i'll take it.
you blow, she go. you pop, she stop. (one nut.)

Not Your Typo:

NYJ -2.5 @ OAK: 2 nuts
ATL +1 @ TB: 2 nuts
ARI -3 @ SEA: 3 nuts
0-3 (-7 nuts)

records through week 2:
Billy Rubin: 5-1. +11 nuts.
Not Your Type: 3-3. 0 nuts
known associate: 2-4. -3 nuts
Blue Whale: 2-3-1. -5 nuts.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Collits Football 2011 Two


Blue Whale says:
North Carolina St. Wolf Pack Vs. Cincinnati Bearcats total 60.5 over

Hard to pick the side here, both sides have burnt me in the past. I know that both teams can score a ton especially on weak defenses, which both teams also have. The Wolfpack have averaged 35 points a game this season while allowing 22 points from opposing teams. The Bearcats dropped 72 points on Austin Peay and 49 on an inept Akron Zips. Dont know what else to say but you cant cap point shaving. 4 Nuts
- bearcats 44 wolfpack 14. -4 nuts.

known associate:
WOLFPACK +7 at bearcats. 1 nut
touts and public are heavy on cincy. i'll go the other way since i've finished my NFL capping and i'm a degenerate that has nothing better to do on this fine thursday night in the city.
(i took this at +7.5 -110 if any y'all care)

i still like the wolfpack though.
- the public, touts and titties won. i didn't. dumb bet. -1 nut

collits records through 9/22:
known associate. 1-1. no nuts
Not Your Type. 0-1. -2 nuts
Blue Whale. 3-2. -3 nuts

Sunday, September 18, 2011

NFL 2011 Week 2 RESULTS

Billy Rubin
YTD: 2-1. 4 nuts.
Week 2 results: 3-0. 7 nuts.
New YTD: 5-1. +11 nuts.

Not Your Type
YTD: 1-2. -4 nuts.
Week 2 results: 2-1.+4 nuts.
New YTD: 3-3. 0 nuts

known associate
YTD: 1-2. 0 nuts.
Week 2 results: 1-2. -3 nuts
New YTD: 2-4. -3 nuts

Blue Whale
YTD: 0-0. 0 nuts.
Week 2 results: 2-3-1. -5 nuts.
New YTD: 2-3-1. -5 nuts.

Friday, September 16, 2011

NFL 2011 Week 2

it's the return...

known associate:
locking in one pick early...
BAL -5.5 at ten. 4 nuts
ravens are an elite team this year. titans aren't.
- titans 26 ravens 13. i need to constantly remind myself that no team is as good or as bad as they seem (unless they're the chiefs). bad bet. -4 nuts
and then...
kc at DET -7.5. 3 nuts
the bills were able to pressure cassel. stafford and the beastly d-line should rout. don't sweat the hook... -7.5 and -3.5 at -110 or better are two of the best bets in football.
- lions 48 chiefs 3. jamaal charles wouldn't have made a difference. easy money. +3 nuts.
SD +6.5 at ne. 2 nuts
henne was able to pass against these pats so take the points in this shootout. 1pm pst start so no early west coast team fatigue to worry about.
- patriots 35 chargers 21. the chargers offense showed no interest in covering the spread (4 turnovers in NE territory plus a turnover on downs at the goal line). bad beat. -2 nuts.
(bought full points on these last two for non-nut purposes.)

TB +3 @ MIN: 3 nuts
I'm in trouble if Donovan McNabb throws for 10% more yards than he threw for last week. On the wishlist: LaGarette Blount punching AP in the hamstring.
+3 nuts. It wasn't looking good for most of the day, but it happened.

KC @ DET -7.5: 4 nuts
Lions will eat Chiefs most days of the week, unless they are in the boardroom.
+4 nuts. I wanted to put all my nuts into this game, but I was too chicken poop.

ARI @ WAS -3: 3 nuts
I hate to trust nuts on a team led by Rex Grossman, but I'm going to go against my better judgement and do it anyway.
-3 nuts. I should have gone with my instinct to stay away from this game.

Blue Whale:
Tampa Bay at Minny -2.5
Vikes get no respect at their own house what happened to the courteous 3 point spread home teams are suppose to get. Minnesota pass rush was effective enough to prevent Rivers from airing it out big time. You think young Freeman will fair any better? Historically, Mcnabb never loses twice in a row. Or was that only when he was with the Eagles? Nonetheless, I have to pick against Just Not Your Type. 2 nuts

Houston at Miami +3
Damn Miami was 1-7 at their own house last season. Henne looked really good last week against New England and Houstons D looked really good against Indy impotent offense. I think Miami Offense will shine in this game. DBs can't keep up with Marshall and Bess. 4 Nuts

Philly -2.5 at Atlanta
Atlanta is hard at the dome. But I can see why the public swayed the Falcons from being -1.5 favorites to +2.5 underdogs. Who is Matt Ryan gonna throw to? Roddy? Covered by Nnamdi . Julio? Asante got him. Gonzalez? Whatever. Mike turner can't catch plus he lost a step. Philly got speed and starpower. That's AND 1 football. 4 nuts

Blue Whale gets 3 extra picks to make up for missing week 1 and he's opted to use them all this week...
chi at NOLA -4.5. 3 nuts
OAK +4 at buffalo. 2 nuts
DAL -3 at sf. 5 nuts

Billy Rubin:
kc at DET -7.5. 5 nuts
HOU -3 at mia. 1 nut
CLE -1.5 at ind. 1 nut

records (after week 1):
Billy Rubin. 2-1. 4 nuts.
known associate. 1-2. 0 nuts.
Blue Whale. 0-0. 0 nuts.
Not Your Type. 1-2. -4 nuts.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Collits Football 2011 One

gettin an early start on college this year. the majority of picks will probably come from our newest associate, Blue Whale.

Blue Whale says:
LES MILES -3 vs. Mississippi State Bulldogs in Starkville 3 nuts.
Sprinkle 1 nut on UNDER 50 total.
No write up......feeeeeel.
- result: LSU 19 Miss St 6. win x2 = 4 nuts.

known associate thinks:
LSU is the better team but they're a bit overvalued at the moment. their passing offense was iffy (jarret lee, 10 for 22) while their defense was primarily responsible for driving up the score in their big season opening win vs the ducks. if their speedy, ball-hawking D can set up a few easy scores, the tigers should win by double digits. if not, i think the bulldogs will control the ball with physicality and be in position to win this game outright, perpetuating the ESPN thursday night home dog trend.

i'm laying off a side entirely but will be sprinkling a bit of cash on the under 50.5. no nuts though... this season, we're using current hilton sportsbook lines for blog pick purposes and i missed out on 50.

Blue Whale:
Kellen Moore n 'Nem at Toledo 61.0 total Over.
One high powered offense one pretty good offense. Garbage time points. Boise Stare should be up by 4 Tds by the third quarter even without Doug Martin. Coach Peterson has a knack for pulling out his starters when the game is out of hand. Five Nuts.

Boise State came into Hotlanta and defeated a declining Georgia program 35-21. Nonetheless it was still exceptional Bronco football. Last week Toledo came into THEE Ohio State University's house and messed around almost coming out as the straight up winner. Now they have to travel to Idaho on a short week to face a Boise State team that had two weeks preparation. That said Boise State Broncos -20. TWO Nuts though.

- result: bsu 40 toledo 15. 1-1. -3 nuts net.
the over was a bad beat. by known associate's count, there were 3 missed extra point attempts, 1 failed 2 point conversion and 2 turnovers in the redzone; not counting the times the broncos turned the ball over on downs due to lack of faith in their kicker.

Buffalo @ Ball St. -4.5: 2 nuts
It's only appropriate that I wager nuts on school named Ball State.

known associate:
The U -2.5 vs the ohio state university. 1 nut.
party time in coral gables as long as jacory harris doesn't shit the bed in his first game back.
- slurricanes 24 suckeyes 6. +1 nut.

may have a play on the stanford-zona game pending the injury report.

Blue Whale. 3-1. 1 nut.
known associate. 1-0. 1 nut.
Not Your Type. 0-1. -2 nuts.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

NFL 2011 Week 1 Results

known associate: o nuts - hungry squirrel alert...this squirrel got a family to feed

billy rubin: 4 nuts - bukake party

not your type: -4 nuts - 4 generations of McFlys wiped out

NFL 2011 Week 1

known associate:
PIT +1 at bal. 3 nuts
CLE -6.5 vs cin. 2 nuts
NE -7 at mia. 5 nuts

billy rubin:
PIT +1 at bal. 3 nuts
HOU -9 vs ind. 3 nuts
CIN +6.5 at cle. 4 nuts

not your type:
DET +1 @ TB: 3 Nuts
I am buying into the hype of the Lions. Hopefully LaGarrette Blount doesn't punch Matt Stafford in the dick.
Three nuts! Zero confrimed dick punches.

NYG -1 @ WAS: 4 Nuts
The functioning Manning has to succeed because science tells me that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but it can be transferred from one state to another; therefore the "Manning Success at Throwing Things Energy" has to go somewhere if Peyton is not playing because it has nowhere else to go, unless it goes to Archie and/or the non-NFL Manning.
-4 nuts. Cam Newton is a Manning.

CIN @ CLE -6.5: 3 Nuts
clean orange helmet > orange helmet with an oil spill on it
-3 nuts. The lesson here is that the Exxon Valdez > Prince William Sound. That equation was proven again with this match-up. I need a math tutor.