Sunday, October 25, 2009

Week 7, A little late, but nobody has scored yet...

Falcons +5 @ Cowboys
How about them Cowboys??

Bengals +1 vs. Bears
As Joe Montana's brother, Tony, would say, "She's a tiger."

Saints -6 @ Dolphins
The Saints will march into the ocean and cast their nets for tuna and catch them some Dolphins.

NFL Week 7

Known Associate:
Bears @ Bengals Over 42.5
(cin 45, chi 10 W)
Giants -7 vs. Cardinals
(az 24, nyg 17 L)
Saints @ Dolphins Under 48
(no 46, mia 34 L)

(week 1-2, season 13-8)

Billy Rubin:
Falcons +5 @ Cowboys
(Falcons 21, Cowboys 37 L)

Bears @ Bengals Over 42.5
(Bears 10, Bengals 45 W)

Eagles -7 @ Redskins
(Eagles 27, Redkins 17 W)

(Week 2-1, Season 11-10)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

NFL Weak 6, as opposed to Bionic 6, Picks

49ers are on bye this week because Roddy White ran circles around them and sent them into the speed-force.

Here are our picks:


Panthers -3 @ Bucs
Sex Panthers out-must the naturally BOey Bucs because 60% of the time, it works every time.

Ravens +3 @ Vikings
This is My Edgar Allan Poe pick of the week.

Eagles -14 @ Raiders
Blacked out in the Bay Area because 14 points makes children cry.

Chiefs @ Redskins
Somebody, somewhere, is offended by this game. Not the White Man, though. Beads and blankets for everybody!!!!


Billy Rubin

Eagles -14 @ Raiders
Randall Cunningham is looking real good these days, and word has it that Marcus Allen won't be available for the Raiders
(Eagles 9, Raiders 13 L)

Texans @ Bengals over 46
There'll be more passing here than when people who smoke drugs pass the drugs to each other after they take a puff of some of the drugs
(Texans 28, Bengals 17 L)

Panthers -3 @ Buccaneers
Kinda bad versus really bad.
(Panthers 28, Buccaneers 21 W)

(Week 1-2, Season 9-9)


known associate

these got deleted somehow...

Chiefs +6.5 @ Redskins
(kc 14, was 6 W)
Rams @ Jaguars over 42
(jac 23, stl 20 W, barely)
Eagles -14 @ Raiders

(oak 13, phi 9 L)

(week 2-1, season 12-6)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Four Songs I Love This Week

These are four songs I've listened to multiple times this week. No real reason why, they just make me happy right about now. It really should be five songs, but Tegan & Sara's latest song, "Hell", isn't on yet. I've listened to that song probably close to 100 times this week and I'm not tired of it yet. If you haven't heard it, go find it somewhere on the intronets...or you can wait until October 27 to buy the album.

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Sunday, October 11, 2009


Unfortunately, this isn't a post about Full Force's greatest song ever. It is, however, a post about the stupidity of being a "faithful" fan of a pro sports team.

For better or worse, I'm a lifelong 49ers fan. As such, there were some really good times when I was kid during the 80s, and what is probably my favorite sports season of all time (the 1994-95 NFL Season) culminated in my fondest pro sports memory - watching the Niners' Super Bowl parade on Market Street while sitting on top of a Muni bus stop. Over the last decade or so things haven't been so great and I probably haven't been as vociferous a supporter of the franchise, which probably makes me a typical Niners fan. In fact, a common "insult" flung at Niners fans is that we're "fairweather fans", which has nothing to do with any songs by Johnny Gill. Quite often, the people tossing those insults around are fans of the other NFL team in the Bay Area. I think this is also a reflection of the common stereotype that Niners fans are from one tax bracket, while Raiders fans are from another altogether. I think the two are not entirely unrelated. Personally, I think being a "fairweather fan" reflects that a person is somewhat rational and intelligent, and doesn't blindly follow dysfunction and repeated failure against all common sense. I would tend to believe that living your life that way leads to more successes than failures, not that I necessarily know from experience.

Having said all that crap, the real reason I'm writing on this topic today is that the stupid Niners got raped by the Falcons today. This is the same 49ers team that took the Vikings, a consensus Super Bowl contender this year, to the limit. The nature of that loss to the Vikings broke a lot of fans' hearts, but it also reinforced the relatively common sentiment that the team was on the cusp of actually being a good football team. Then today happened. 

Today's game was truly awful in every regard. Either today was an anomaly, like the biggest anomaly ever in the history of anomalies; or we just witnessed the end of the smoke and mirrors Samuari Mike coaching experiment. The latter is inevitable, of course, but even the most cynical fan (me) wouldn't have suspected that the end would come in Week 5 of the 2009-10 NFL season. In reality, it is probably neither of the above scenarios, but a mix of the two. 

Surely, the Niners can't be this bad. Right? They beat the defending NFC champs. They hung with the Vikings. They annihilated the lowly Rams. But, I'm pretty much entirely convinced that Singletary isn't much of a head coach. He seems all cheerleader, and not much game planner. I've always thought that when the Niners were confronted with an imbalance in talent and/or coaching acumen, they would crumble like Mexican pastries. It seems that happened today. The defense couldn't handle Atlanta's talented offense at all. The entire team looked lackadaisical, unmotivated and completely unprepared. I fault the coaches for that. If Singeltary's strength is motivation, then he failed miserably. If he is supposed to be a disciplinarian, then he also failed miserably in that regard, as evidenced by Glen Coffee not being on the field for a crucial play in the first quarter, all the stupid penalties the Niners were flagged for, and Dre Bly's idiotic showboating after making an interception - near midfield.

This all brings me to the issue of being a "faithful" fan. This incarnation of the Niners has done nothing to inspire faith. Nobody in the organization has done anything in their professional careers that leads me to believe that this team will be successful. Not fat-faced, bratty Jed York. Not Scot McCloughan. Maybe if this was the 1980s and Singeltary was playing linebacker, but as a coach, Singletary hasn't really done anything. I'm not 100% sure, but have any players on the current roster had any success in the NFL in terms of winning games? Certainly none of the homegrown players have, and I can't really think of anyone brought in via free agency who comes from a winning organization. I could definitely be wrong about that, but I really don't feel like researching it right now. 

I will continue to watch all the games, likely from the comfort of my living room, and I'll hope that the team wins, but I will also continue to temper my hope with the reality that this team probably shouldn't win. Does that make me a bad fan? Maybe. Do I really care? Not at all. If the team loses, I can always say "I told you so", and I won't have to worry about being let down. If the team wins, I'll be there to bask in the glory and I'll be just as excited as all the "49er faithful". Leave faith and blind obedience to Raider Nation and the German citizenry of the 1930s. 

By the way, that term "49er faithful" is entirely manufactured by the Niners marketing folks to sell tickets and merchandise. Real Niners fans aren't faithful, we're smart.

Pick Dem Hoes: Week 5

Here are this week's picks.


Bill Rubin:

Vikings -10 @ Rams
The Rams are so good, like the best under-10 Pop Warner team in the NFL.
(Vikings 38, Rams 10 W)

Falcons @ 49ers over 40
The Falcons' defense is just crappy enough for the Niners to put up some good points, while the Falcons' passing attack is probably a little too much for the Niners to handle.
(Falcons 45, 49ers 10 W)

Jaguars +1 @ Seahawks
I just think the Jags are a better football team than the Seahawks.
(Jaguars 0, Seahawks 41 L)

(Week 2-1, Season 8-7)


known associate:
Browns+6 @Bills
(cle 6, buf 3 W)
Vikings-10 @Rams
(min 38, stl 10 W)
Colts-3.5 @Titans
(ind 31, ten 9 W)
back to sleep.
(week 3-0, season 10-5)


I'm on strike, so pick it...Week 5

5/17th of the way in, here are our picks gosh darn it.

Not Your Type

Jaguars +1 @ Seahawks
David Garrard's brother Gil came from the future and told me to pick this game.

Bills -6 vs. Browns
Scott Norwood kicks three FG's for a score of 9-0. Bernie Kosar is sad.

Broncos +3 vs. Patriots
Tom Brady will look more like Mike Brady in A Very Brady Christmas. He WILL be wearing a pink jogging suit and a bad 70's white-man perm by the end of the game.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Don't pick your nose... Week 4

I wonder if we'll all get our picks in this week. Only time will tell...


Billy Rubin:

Bengals -6 @ Browns
I'm starting at QB for the Browns, and I suck!
(Bengals 23, Browns 20 L)

Ravens +1 @ Patriots
Not sure why I like this, but I do.
(New England 27, Ravens 21 L)

Bills +1 @ Dolphins
The Dolphins' QB situation should be just good enough for the Bills to eek out a win.
(Dolphins 38, Bills 10 L)

(Week 0-3, Season 6-6)


Known Associate:

Saints -7.5 vs. Jets
Drew Brees is larger and more in-charge-er, in the crotch, than Mark Sanchez.
(NO 24- NYJ 10) W

Chargers @ Steelers over 43
This game should see more scoring than an all-male swingers party.
(PIT 38- SD 28) W

Vikings -4 vs. Packers
AP=Awesome Penis!
(MIN 30- GB 23) W

[week 3-0, season 7-5]