formerly known as kNot Yore Type
MIA +1 @ CLE; 5 nuts
Dan Marino will be like "Uu huh." and Bernie Kosar will be like "No way." and Mark Duper will be like "Yes way." and Ozzie Newsome will be like "Nope." Larry Csonka and Jim Brown will run around. Then Cleveland will try to move to Baltimore, only to discover that they had moved there previously. Then LeBron James will show off his championships. And Bone, but 2 Live Crew. So Miami, +1.
SEA @ CAR + 3.5; 2 nuts
Going on the road, to the east coast, to start the season? That is a tough assignment. Seattle's DBs may wish that they could play some Fantasy Movie Casting so they could add Errol Flynn. Anyone? Anyone???
The Waterhabitatingbirdsofprey may eek one out, and if they do, it will be by the slimmest of margins. I can see Carolina winning this straight up because Seattle may not be able to sustain their energy level throughout the entire game, unless Starbucks shows up with some greenie-enhanced coffee.
KC -3.5 @ JAX; 3 nuts
Alex Smith will Joe Montana the Chiefs to an at least two score victory. Steve Bono and Elvis Grbac will read this and think they are better than Alex Smith. Alex Smith will laugh. He is way smarter than those two guys.
(2-1; 6 nuts)
billy rubin says:
CAR +3.5 vs SEA; 2 nuts
What he said, plus Seattle's D is hurt and suspended. But Ron Rivera, though.
AZ +4 @ StL; 2 nuts
Unless the Rams get really creative with Tavon Austin and catch the Cardinals off guard, I think this one goes to the birds straight up like Paula Abdul.
GB @ SF over 49; 3 nuts
This is the Packers' Super Bowl and the Niners D is as fresh and healthy as it will be all year, so there's risk with this, but there's just too much talent at the skill positions on both teams for this one to be a low scoring affair.
(2-1; 3 nuts)
known associate's half-ass researched plays:
sea at CAR +3.5 (2 nuts)
oak at IND -11 (2 nuts)
tb at nyj UNDER 40 (3 nuts)
i prefer first half bets for both side plays, hope defensive scores don't push the total over.
3-0 for my wallet as i only played the 1H sides.
but (1-2. -1 nut)
Showing posts with label gettin' woodies on. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gettin' woodies on. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Sunday, December 16, 2012
NFL Week 15 Picks
NYT
CAR +3 @SD (4 nuts)
TB @ NO -3.5 (2 nuts)
CHI @ GB over 43.5 (2 nuts)
billy rubin:
TB +3.5 vs. NO (2 nuts): yikes, going against NYT again. oh well, josh freeman is a 6'6" black man and drew brees is a 6'0" (listed) white man. advantage (in the pants), freeman.
DEN @ BAL o48 (3 nuts): manning should be good for the lion's share of this and hopefully cam cameron was actually holding back the ravens offense.
IND +10.5 @ HOU (2 nuts): indy isn't nearly as good a team as their record would indicate, and houston should be out to prove something, but i just can't see this being a two score game. over is probably the smarter play for this game, but i just wrote two whole sentences so fuck it.
known associate:
NYG +1 at atl (3 nuts)
- giants 0 falcons 34. -3 nuts
everyone's favorite gay qb and his boytoys played their only complete game of the season but i'm still not buying the falcons as a top superbowl contender. "statement game" my butthole. more like an outlier game.
JAC +7.5 at mia (2 nuts)
- jaguars 3 dolphins 24. -2 nuts
not that i deserved to win this play but this score is a bit misleading. the jags hung with the fins (leading in yardage for most of the game) but turned it over on downs in the redzone three times! also, the final td came very late in game. lol @me for layin nuts on shit teams.
PIT +1 at dal (2 nuts)
- steelers 24 cowboys 27 (ot). -2 nuts
reverse cowboys were 0-6 ats at jerryland this season. i shoulda layed off this game tho. steelers d is aging quick.
also played broncos for 2 nuts.
lol @jim caldwell. i'm far from a cam cameron apologist but it looks like the ravens made a bad situation worse. check caldwell's resume. pretty sure dude has never called plays, ever. he did get outcoached by sean payton in the superbowl tho.
bucs, panthers, bills, niners, texans 1h for lesser nuts.
panthers were the play, bills and bucs are some assclowns on defense. texans really didn't deserve to cover the 1h or the game. go niners tho!
week 15: 0-3, -7 nuts.
records through week 14:
known associate: 17-23-2, -14 nuts (week 14 1-2 -2 nuts)
21 -20-1, +5 nuts
CAR +3 @SD (4 nuts)
TB @ NO -3.5 (2 nuts)
CHI @ GB over 43.5 (2 nuts)
billy rubin:
TB +3.5 vs. NO (2 nuts): yikes, going against NYT again. oh well, josh freeman is a 6'6" black man and drew brees is a 6'0" (listed) white man. advantage (in the pants), freeman.
DEN @ BAL o48 (3 nuts): manning should be good for the lion's share of this and hopefully cam cameron was actually holding back the ravens offense.
IND +10.5 @ HOU (2 nuts): indy isn't nearly as good a team as their record would indicate, and houston should be out to prove something, but i just can't see this being a two score game. over is probably the smarter play for this game, but i just wrote two whole sentences so fuck it.
known associate:
NYG +1 at atl (3 nuts)
- giants 0 falcons 34. -3 nuts
everyone's favorite gay qb and his boytoys played their only complete game of the season but i'm still not buying the falcons as a top superbowl contender. "statement game" my butthole. more like an outlier game.
JAC +7.5 at mia (2 nuts)
- jaguars 3 dolphins 24. -2 nuts
not that i deserved to win this play but this score is a bit misleading. the jags hung with the fins (leading in yardage for most of the game) but turned it over on downs in the redzone three times! also, the final td came very late in game. lol @me for layin nuts on shit teams.
PIT +1 at dal (2 nuts)
- steelers 24 cowboys 27 (ot). -2 nuts
reverse cowboys were 0-6 ats at jerryland this season. i shoulda layed off this game tho. steelers d is aging quick.
also played broncos for 2 nuts.
lol @jim caldwell. i'm far from a cam cameron apologist but it looks like the ravens made a bad situation worse. check caldwell's resume. pretty sure dude has never called plays, ever. he did get outcoached by sean payton in the superbowl tho.
bucs, panthers, bills, niners, texans 1h for lesser nuts.
panthers were the play, bills and bucs are some assclowns on defense. texans really didn't deserve to cover the 1h or the game. go niners tho!
week 15: 0-3, -7 nuts.
records through week 14:
known associate: 17-23-2, -14 nuts (week 14 1-2 -2 nuts)
21 -20-1, +5 nuts
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