NFL 2104 Week 16

COLTS +3.5 at dallas (2 nuts)
sea at CARDINALS +9 (3 nuts)
BRONCOS -3 at cincinnati (3 nuts)
played the under in nyj for 3 nuts. vikes and g-men for 1 nut each.

NFL 2014 Week 14

indianapolis at BROWNS +3.5 (3 nuts)
houston at JAGUARS +7 (3 nuts)
new england at CHARGERS +4 (3 nuts)
also steelers, bucs, skins.

NFL 2014 Week 13

phi at COWBOYS -3 (3 nuts)
no at STEELERS -3 (2 nuts)
PATRIOTS +3 at gb (4 nuts)

NFL 2014 Week 12

BUCCANEERS +6 at chi (3 nuts)
jac at COLTS -13.5 (3 nuts)
DOLPHINS +7 at den (3 nuts)
and browns.
small jets, chargers, cowboys.

NFL 2014 Week 11

sea at CHIEFS +1 (4 nuts)
actually played this first half, teased and parlayed full game.
phi at PACKERS -5 (4 nuts)
oak at CHARGERS -10 (2 nuts)
putting some on gb and sd 1h too.

NFL 2014 Week 10

DOLPHINS +3 at det (3 nuts)
- fins 16 lions 20, -3 nuts.
this went from moneyline dog winner to losing the cover on that TD in the final seconds. bleh.
chi at PACKERS -7 (3 nuts)
- bears 14 packers 55, +3 nuts.
pit at JETS +4.5 (2 nuts)
- steelers 13 jets 20, +2 nuts.

known associate Week 10: 2-1, +2 nuts.
season to date: 13-15-2, no nuts.

NFL 2014 Week 9

was at VIKINGS PK (2 nuts)
- skins 26 vikes 29, +2 nuts.
phi at TEXANS +1.5 (2 nuts)
- eagles 31 texans 21, -2 nuts.
den at PATRIOTS +3 (4 nuts)
- broncos 21 pats 43, +4 nuts.
shoulda bet this even bigger. peyton stays pussy in foxboro.

known associate Week 9: 2-1, +4 nuts.
season to date: 11-14-2, -2 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 8

CHARGERS +9.5 at den (3 nuts)
the flowers and verrett injuries are concerning but this is just too much value to pass up. the broncos obviously put a lot on the sunday night game and might be in for a let down. if not, the chargers are still a legit superbowl contender and seemed to have looked past the chiefs on sunday with eyes on this showdown.
- chargers 21 broncos 35, -3 nuts.
covering vs peyton AND the refs/nfl golden boy bias was too much to ask of SD.

2 more picks to follow. 99% sure the saints will be one of them.

chi at ne OVER 52 (2 nuts)
- bears 23 pats 51, +2 nuts.
gb at SAINTS -1 (3 nuts)
- packers 23 saints 44, +3 nuts.

known associate Week 8: 2-1, +2 nuts.
season to date: 9-13-2, -6 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 7

car at gb OVER 49 (3 nuts)
- panthers 17 packers 38, +3 nuts.

SAINTS +1.5 at det (3 nuts)
- saints 23 lions 24, +3 nuts.

49ERS +7 at den (4 nuts)
- niners 17 broncos 42, -4 nuts.

known associate Week 7: 2-1, +2 nuts.
season to date: 7-12-2, -8 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 6

STEELERS +3 at cle (3 nuts)
a.brown eats up browns haden and steelers dont let the browns come back this time.
- pit 10 cle 31, -3 nuts.
gb at DOLPHINS +3 (3 nuts)
banking on the inside intel from philbin + packers coming off blowout + afternoon miami heat helping the fins.
- gb 27 mia 24, 0 nuts.
backdoor push, an aaron rodgers specialty.
det at VIKINGS PK (3 nuts)
calvin out, teddy in.
- det 17 min 3, -3 nuts.
teddy overmatched.
also
bengals. aj's out but burfict's back. bounce back from embarrassment in foxboro. split the bet between full game and half.
- half hit, at least.
jets. holding my nose and hoping the jets come through in their superbowl.
- looked good until geno's pick 6.
giants. mckayla maroney face at the eagles.
- this loss was never in doubt.

known associate Week 6: 0-2-1, -6 nuts.
season to date: 5-11-2, -10 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 5

tb at SAINTS -10 (3 nuts)
i like first half even better.
- tb 31 no 37, -3 nuts.
weak ass brees fucked up the 1h bet with a late INT that led to a tb td.
RAVENS +3 at ind (2 nuts)
colts looking ahead to thursday night.
- bal 13 colts 20, -2 nuts.
i need to quit betting ravens games, but i won't.
cin at PATRIOTS +3 (3 nuts)
brady-chick given a field goal at home? auto-play. plus i have vegas on my side.
- cin 17 ne 43, +3 nuts.
shoulda woulda coulda went bigger.
also falcons and chargers (2 nut level plays). then rams, niners, broncos.

known associate Week 5: 1-2, -2 nuts.
season to date: 5-9-1, -4 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 4

PACKERS -1.5 at chi (2 nuts)
- gb 38 chi 17, +2 nuts.
PANTHERS +3.5 at bal (3 nuts)
- car 10 bal 38, -3 nuts.
atl at VIKINGS +4.5 (4 nuts)
- atl 28 min 41, +4 nuts.
also bucs, over in dallas, niners, titans.

known associate Week 4: 2-1, +3 nuts.
season to date: 4-7-1, -2 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 3

known associate:
dal at RAMS +2 (2 nuts)
- cowboys 34 rams 31, -2 nuts.
PACKERS +1 at det (2 nuts)
- packers 7 lions 19, -2 nuts.
STEELERS +3.5 at car (3 nuts)
- steelers 37 panthers 19, +3 nuts.
also saints (by the half), browns, bears, overs in philly and carolina.

known associate Week 3: 1-2, -1 nut.
season to date: 2-6-1, -5 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 2

known associate:
mia at BILLS -1 (3 nuts)
i was more impressed with the bills win on the road (vs the bears) than the dolphins win at home (vs the pats). tannehill should be improved this year but he's 1-3 vs the bills with a 48% completion rate. plus, this is buffalo's home opener and the fans are gonna be hyped off the news that their beloved bills aren't going anywhere.
- fins 10 bills 29, +3 nuts.
i didn't even realize the bills were honoring ralph wilson and bringing out jim kelly. or maybe they were honoring him too in some way. whichever. the fans were definitely pumped.
chi at 49ERS -7 (3 nuts)
i'll be with the squares on the one despite the fact teams historically fair poorly in their stadium openers. hopefully i'll have some line value by gametime once the public realizes marshall and jeffery won't play. circadian rhythms will also be of help, especially in the second half.
- bears 28 niners 20, -3 nuts.
bleh. misread the marshall and jeffery situations and circadian rhythms were of no help. stupid santa clara niners fucked up my teasers.
phi at COLTS -3 (1 nut)
andrew luck is 10-0 ATS following a loss (6-0 as a fave) and 13-4 ATS at home. plus, this will be the first mnf home game in the luck era and the colts will be desperately avoiding an 0-2 start.
pick change: i'm taking this down to 1 nut as i'm actually laying more on the over.
- eagles 30 colts 27, -1 nut.
i'm glad i didn't lay any real scrill on a side as vegas seemed to have a hand in this one. personal foul penalties should be reviewable. that wasn't a horse-collar tackle. yay, over!
also jaguars, under in cleveland, chargers, and packers. i like the packers as much as my top 3 but so far only have them on a bunch of teasers and smaller parlays.
- i thought the jags were gonna provide good value early this season but i was wrong. they're unbettable right now but will probably cover in week 3 now that i've sworn them off. under in cleveland hit, not by much. chargers benefitted from the heat as they ran the no huddle against the non-defensive subbing seawhores and won straight up. the packers turned over the first snap of the game, went down 21-3 but still almost covered (i bought a point and pushed). i like them as dogs this week in detroit.

known associate Week 2: 1-2, -1 nut.
season to date: 1-4-1, -4 nuts

NFL 2014 Week 1

known associate:
not sure if my cohorts will be posting this year but i will (for now)...
min at RAMS -2.5 (1 nut)
just betting value. this line moved 2.5 points after the bradford injury. i don't think sam bradford is worth 2.5 points. also, 75% of bets are on the vikes and the only thing worse than a public fave is a public dog.
- vikings 34 rams 6
still don't think bradford is worthy of the line move but hill's in-game injury didn't help matters. -1 nut.
cin at RAVENS -1 (2 nuts)
week 1 road dogs that made the playoffs in the previous season are just 2-21-1 ats since '89. (i.e. it's a fade of the weaker playoff teams.) plus, i think the ravens bounce back a bit this year.
- bengals 23 ravens 16
i get bad flacco about 75% of the time i pick the ravens. wish i had more fantasy stock in giovani bernard this season. -2 nuts.
ind at BRONCOS -7 (4 nuts)
the system fits this as well, and i like it even more in this matchup. colts defense is still doodoo and the broncos will want to avenge their first loss of 2013 and also prove that they're better than their showing on super bowl sunday.
- colts 24 broncos 31
what the shit second half was that? backdoor push, no homo nor nuts.
smaller on texans, dolphins, raiders, saints.
- texans were easy. the dolphins handled biz on a hot and humid miami afternoon like the usually do. raiders came through with a backdoor cover. saints got matty iced.

known associate Week 1: 0-2-1, -3 nuts

College Bowl Picks Part Two

known associate:
1.1.13
hny bitch.
NORTHWESTERN -1 vs miss st at jac, fl (3 nuts)
the 9-3 wildcats could've been in a better bowl, blowing 4h quarter leads in all 3 losses. they'll be amply motivated for their first bowl win since 1948.
more in the morn if my ass wakes up.
lean wolverines, under and under in capital one bowl (aka citrus bowl) for the other morn games.
nwu vs msu UNDER 55 (1 nut)
- wildcats 34 bulldogs 20. +4 nuts.
tease PURDUE +24.5/OVER 62 vs oklahoma st at cotton bowl (1 nut)
- boilermakers 14 cowboys 58. -1 nut. not close.
nebraska vs georgia UNDER 31 first half at citrus bowl (1 nut)
- cornhuskers 24 bulldogs 23. -1 nut.
nebraska vs georgia UNDER 33.5 second half (1 nut)
- cornhuskers 7 bulldogs 22 (31-45 final). +1 nut.
MICHIGAN +4.5 vs south carolina at tampa, fl (1 nut)
mich vs sc UNDER 24 second half (1 nut)
- wolverines 15 cocks 12 (28-33 final). -2 nuts. 
lost both bets on that td in the final seconds. fuckin cocks coulda just kicked a fg. great game though.
jadeveon clowney, überbeast, right after bullcaca officials "misread" a measurement, giving michigan the ball on downs:

tease WISCONSIN +11/UNDER 54.5 vs stanford at rose bowl (1 nut)
wisc vs stan UNDER 23.5 first half (2 nuts)
- badgers 14 cardinal 17 (14-20 final). -1 nut. 
tease hit. shouldn't have pussed out of the 2h under chase.
niu vs fsu UNDER 28.5 first half at orange bowl (1 nut)
- huskies 3 seminoles 14 (10-31 final). +1 nut.
5-5, +1 nut to start off the year.
1.2
LOUISVILLE +14.5 vs florida at superdome (1 nut)
gators have superior players but the cardinals have the best individual talent in teddy bridgewater. sprinkled a tiny bit on first half +7.5 over parlay.
lou vs fla UNDER 24.5 second half (1 nut)
- cardinals 33 gators 23 (9-13 second half).  +2 nuts.
teddy bridgewater is my latest quarterblack mancrush.
1.3
ksu vs ou UNDER 38 first half at glendale, az (2 nuts)
and Blue Whale won't like this but...
KANSAS STATE +9 vs oregon (1 nut)
- wildcats 17 ducks 35 (10-22 first half). +1 nut.
cats fucked it up with poor clock management at the end of the 1st half. actually, they probably fucked up from the get by kicking it to de'anthony thomas to start the game. smh.
1.4
texas a&m vs OKLAHOMA +3.5 at cowboys stadium (1 nut)
tease OU +10.5/over 66 (1 nut)
- aggies 41 sooners 13. -2 nuts.
johnny football is the white rg3 (and bridgewater is the black andrew luck). 
1.5
pittsburgh vs mississippi UNDER 27 second half at birmingham, al (1 nut)
- panthers 7 rebels 14 (17-38 final). +1 nut.
i'll be playing this bowl under system next season.
1.6
arkansas st vs KENT ST +3 a mobile, al (1 nut)
- red wolves 17 golden flashes 13. - 1 nut.
1.7
ALABAMA -9.5 vs notre dame at miami, fl (3 nuts)
tease ALABAMA -2.5/OVER 33.5 (1 nut)
tide pull away in the second half (at the latest).
- crimson tide 42 fighting irish 14. +4 nuts.
sabanism defeats catholicism.
young yeldon's been an impact player from game one but fellow frosh amari cooper was even more impressive in this game. let's hope next year's "title" game brings the tide a more formidable opponent. it should be the ducks but don't count out the aggies, buckeyes or even the cardinals (plural) and my nig teddy bridgewater.

2012 NCAA final bowl record:
known associate: 18-15. +6 nuts.

2012 NCAA final regular season record:
known associate: 19-17-1. -6 nuts
Blue Whale: 1-5. -12 nuts.

College Bowl Picks Part One

known associate:
starting this off with a degenerate special play for the div III championship!
12.14
st. thomas vs MOUNT UNION -18.5 at salem, va (1 nut)
- tommies 10 purple raiders 28. -1 nut.
degenerate special indeed. and why the fuck was the new mexico bowl at 10am, on a saturday, with only one other bowl game scheduled?
back later this week with more plays...
12.21
ball state vs central florida OVER 59.5 (1 nut)
tease BALL ST +14.5/OVER 52.5 (1 nut)
0-2, -2 nuts.
12.26
CENTRAL MICHIGAN +7 vs western kentucky at detroit (1 nut)
chippewas finished the season stronger and are playing in their home state.
- chippewas 24 hilltoppers 21. +1 nut.
also gonna play this under system in spots. long layoffs lead to rusty offenses while the second half chase provides decent insurance. just small for today's matchup though.
- 2nd half under hit.
12.27
lean under for noon. will take 2h if it's a play.
cincinnati vs DUKE +10 at charlotte (3 nuts)
the pass-happy blue devils are playing their first bowl game in 17 years, led by a 5th year head coach and redshirt senior QB. the bearcats are playing their 4th bowl game in 5 years; without their head coach. they've also surrendered 502 yards per game to the only 2 decent passing teams they've faced this season (syracuse and lousville). cincy is more talented but all other signs point to a motivated duke team pulling off an upset in their home state. these ladies ain't helping though:

lean over for the evening but damn that total is awfully high.
- bearcats 48 blue devils 34. -3 nuts.
this really was the worst beat ever. devils were at the cats 5 with 1:30 to go in a tie game yet somehow lose... by 14! shit like this can't be rigged.
12.28
ohio vs LA MONROE -7 at shreveport, la (1 nut)
the bobcats don't match up well with the warhawks on either side of the ball; lacking both the vertical threat to expose ULM's shaky secondary and the requisite speed in their own defensive backfield to slow down kolton browning and his deep receiving corps. warhawks are also playing in their first bowl game, ever, and in their home state. weather is a concern but i'm posting this now in case i sleep through kickoff. might add a nut in the morn if i don't.
- bobcats 45 warhawks 14. -1 nut.
my match up analysis was on point... except for the opposite teams. no idea how the warhawks beat arkansas and hung with auburn and baylor.
lean tech, two times.
rutgers vs VIRGINIA TECH PK at orlando, fl (1 nut)
taking beamer and his bowl experienced boys over a rutgers team that just choked away it's chance at school history (and a bcs bowl).
- scarlet knights 10 hokies 13. +1 nut.
i thought this bet was dead after rutgers' fluke (and only) td started the scoring. logan thomas isn't an nfl qb.
minnesota vs TEXAS TECH -13 at houston, tx (1 nut)
fade it.
- golden gophers 31 red raiders 34. -1 nut.
told you.
12.29
west virginia vs SYRACUSE +4 at yankee stadium (2 nuts)
- mountaineers 14 orange 38. +2 nuts.
wvu vs syr UNDER 35 first half (1 nut)
doubt geno smith and his boys want to play in the snow (or wintry mix).
- mountaineers 7 orange 12. +1 nut.
tease ARIZONA STATE -6.5/OVER 47.5 vs navy at at&t park (1 nut)
navy is outmanned and under-motivated (after their big win vs army).
lean beavers and spartans.
- midshipmen 28 sun devils 62. +1 nut
12.31
georgia tech vs usc UNDER 31.5 first half at windy el paso, tx (1 nut)
- yellowjackets 7 trojans 7 (7-21 final). +1 nut
CLEMSON +6 vs lsu at georgia dome (1 nut)
- tigers 25 tigers 24. +1 nut

2012 NCAA bowl record (through 12.31):
known associate: 7-6. no nuts

2012 NCAA regular season record:
known associate: 19-17-1. -6 nuts
Blue Whale: 1-5. -12 nuts

NFL Week 16 Picks

known associate:
locking two plays in...
no at dal OVER 52 (3 nuts)
the cowboys offense has been better of late and getting demarco back to top form should only help. more importantly, the saints rank 30th in red zone conversion defense (% of TDs allowed) and they're at their worst on the road; allowing a touchdown 72% of the time. brees should get his.
was at phi OVER 45 (3 nuts)
both teams are pretty shitty defensively in the red zone; ranking 26th or worse. reid and foles have nothing to lose and could be motivated to put on a show in their last home game of 2012. weather shouldn't be a factor.
the giants are probably going to be my third play. also considering browns, the unders in gb and nyj, and the over in seattle.
NYG -2 at bal (1 nut)

billy rubin:
PIT -3 vs CIN (3 nuts)
DAL -3 vs NO (3 nuts)
CHI -7 @ AZ (3 nuts)

NYT

IND -5.5 @ KC (3 nuts)
NO +2.5 @ DAL (3 nuts)
STL +3 @ TB (3 nuts)


records through week 15:
known associate: 17-26-2, -21 nuts (week 15: 0-3, -7 nuts)
nyt: 23-21-1, +9 nuts

NFL Week 14 Picks

NYT

BAL +2.5 @ WAS (2 nuts)
TEN @ IND -5 (3 nuts)
DAL @ CIN -3.5 (3 nuts)


known associate:
atl at CAR +3.5 (3 nuts) straight up win
NO +4.5 at nyg (3 nuts) loss
DET +6.5 at gb (2 nuts) half point loss
titans nearly made the cut.
titans either covered or pushed depending on your line.
smaller plays on pats, browns, skins, jags, eagles.
pats killed. browns covered. skins covered and rg3 threw an incompletion that was more exciting to watch than 99% of alex smith's completions. jags miss cecil shorts, didn't cover. eagles won straight up as dogs.
week 14: 1-2, -2 nuts.

billy rubin:

TEN +5.5 @ IND (2 nuts): i hate to go against not your type, who clearly has the football gods' ears this season, but this weekend is full of crappy games/lines and this is one of the few that stands out to me as a play.
CIN - 3.5 vs DAL (4 nuts): now i'm a little worried about the fact that NYT and i agree on this. hopefully andy dalton employs reverse racism and treats the cowboys like red-headed stepchildren. or just reverse cowboys someone and gets some ball-to-ball action. matt ryan would probably like that.
PHI +7.5 @ TB (2 nuts): i'm not too sure about riding the nick foles train for two weeks in a row, especially in a contest where he likely has the smaller penis between the starting qbs, but all the eagles have to do is lose by only a td. it's not like this is the tampa defense of yore anyway.

records through week 13:
known associate: 16-21-2, -12 nuts
nyt : 21-17-1, +13 nuts

NFL Week 13 Picks

Not Your Type

IND +6 @ DET (3 nuts)
JAX +6.5 @ BUF (2 nuts)
TB @ DEN -7.5 (4 nuts)

And here is a rant:  I think Harry Wofford from Comcast Sports/NBC is a big-ass bag of dicks.  The dude is totally full of shit, yet doesn't know shit.  In a market full of dick-hole broadcasters, he takes the cake(which happens to be in the shape of a dick enveloping another dick).

known associate:
JAC +6.5 at buf (4 nuts)
ind at DET -6 (2 nuts)
cin at SD +1 (2 nuts)

billy rubin:
JAX +6 @ BUG (3 nuts): uh-oh, three of us are in agreement. that is either really good or really bad. chad henne is handsome and justin blackmon has a big dick though, so we should be good. but i seem to recall underestimating ryan fitzpatrick's handsomeness before...
PHI +10 @ DAL (2 nuts): the eagles are crappy, but so are the cowboys. while murray may be back, 10 points is a big nut to cover and all nick foles has to do is avoid be awful. plus dez bryant is a still a genius, a big ol' giant dicked genius.
WAS +3 vs NYG (2 nuts): greasy 3000 definitely has a bigger dick that horse face, jr. 'nuff said.

records through week 12:
billy rubin: 14-21-1, -17 nuts (last week: 2-1, +3 nuts)
nyt: 20-15-1, +14 nuts